Time Capsules.

The music that we listen to, often reflect our personality, somehow. Tonight, I'm reminded of a song, that sounded pretty meaningful, it's lyrics running in my head.

"Looking at life through my own eyes, searching for a hero to idolise, feeling the pain as innocence dies...."

It was such an old song, perhaps, when was 13or14 or 15? The song was a result of Shuyan's aaron carter obsession. But nevermind, I am actually reminded at how, at my early teens, the search for meaning and purpose is already so strong. I am reminded of how, many out there, are still looking for their "hero to idolise."

Sometimes, one of the worse feeling one can experience is loneliness. Sitting there, alone, "looking at life through our eyes, searching for a hero to idolise. " The older grow, "feeling the pain as innocence dies....So true isn't it? That as one grows older, exposed to the different experiences, to this fallen world, our many delusion, a collection of such experiences is will only bring much pain. And so, for the many out there lost, dug deeper holes, to conceal these experiences, once a while, they bring it out again, to allow pain fill up whatever vacumm that current experience failed to fill. It's a vicious cycle.

Pain like a drug, is addictive.

I used to look at the world through my own eyes, it wasn't easy. With my eyes, me alone, it was a lonely trip of exploration, seeking, disappointing, emptiness that I filled with different pain. Fear that consume me to inflict more pain. So scary. You know, I wasn't doing that bad outwardly, looking at the world through my own eyes. Just sometimes, it felt abit lonely.

Thankfully, I'm no longer looking at life through my own eyes.
No longer lonely.

One of the best encouragement I have today, is that, my teaching invoke people to be melancholy, that they will think deeper. Seriously, I'm simply encouraged.

And you see, it's not me, I was once empty, but he poured something in.